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11/8/17
I'm worried that I don't like anything about Kazakhstan except for the mountains. :(

17/8/17
The Balkans will always and forever by my first genuine, real love. I gave it exactly who I was and I loved it for what it was right back.

19/8/17
I can make anywhere a home. It's being happy there that is the difficult bit.

20/8/17
What the hell am I doing?

24/8/17
Moving to a new country is a lot like going on a giant scavenger hunt. I had a dream last night that I was looking at rows and rows of teachers resources, and then I suddenly remembered my desperate need for coconut oil and chia seed.

27/8/17
I just finished a mental breakdown of epic proportions, I am currently mourning the loss of a life I loved and desperately clinging to the hope that I will be able to build another one. I'm not alone, but I'm still lonely as fuck.
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I wish I was half as sure of anything in life as I am about you.

30/8/17
A guy tried to pass me a beer up from his car window to my bus window. It had me howling with laughter though I couldn't understand what he was saying. I must learn the language.
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I simply love the ease of music on the highway as the wheels spin round and the sun is setting. There is something in the calmness it brings in the face of the chaos of a new adventure, and new experiences.

10/9/17
Am I forcing myself to be sad because one part of my life isn't the way I want it to be? Time to change my attitude.

16/9/17
I keep feeling like I want to sob for no good reason. I want to spend my day in bed sleeping for 10 hours, but I sit by and let myself sink into a hole. Up and at em'.

17/9/17
Yep. I'm starting to fall in love finally.

19/9/17
And then you message me and I smile and wonder why the hell I'm heading to a date with some other guy on a Tuesday night.

23/9/17
I know that it is probably nothing. But the fact that it might possibly be something, is everything right now.

3/10/17
I figured out why I'm scared of dating. Its not that I might end up with a broken heart, its that I've been so good at being by myself. Though I want to be with someone, and believe I'm ready to share life, I also am scared I will be awful at not being selfish.

5/10/17
And somewhere along the way I need to thank you for the decisions you forced me to make. Though I was broken for some time I am the strong, confident woman I am because of all the times I wasn't.

13/10/17
There is a big difference between wanting to be someone's girl and wanting a man to be yours.

14/10/17
I'm feeling that all too familiar feeling of wanting to lay in bed and let my life pass away. I need get to the mountains ASAP. Or better yet, on a holiday.

18/10/17
I forgot how much walking can act as a trip to the therapist for me. As I look around me and wander down the road to meet my friends, I remember my typical long evening walks along the bay in Montenegro, and I miss them. But then I smile. A real smile. Not just a happy smile, but a "I am so content with the way life is going smile." I hope this feeling sticks around for awhile. 

20/10/17
A current common theme in my life right now is light and the way it shines. Whether it is the realizations I have while lying in the Saturday afternoon sun sprawled out on my floor grading papers, the feeling of sunlight on my face as I run, the way the sun makes the red on the trees pop, or the songs that seem to be about using light to get rid of darkness.  Shine on!