I don't care where I am for Christmas next year, as long as I am with you.
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You can only help someone if they want to be helped. At some point you just have to throw in the towel.
26/12/17
Sometimes you look at something once and don't really see it until you look again.
27/12/17
I spent all morning on the bus feeling crazy guilty. I know technically I did nothing wrong, but it wasn't you, and you are all I want.
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53 minutes of talking and it still doesn't feel like enough. My heart is full of so much joy.
28/12/17
Some days of traveling are incredible. You meet awesome people and have a good time. Other days you do laundry for 3 hours, watch netflix, and crave any kind of human contact.
29/12/17
I have to admit that as much as I pump the joys and wonders of solo travel and highly recommend everyone does it at least once I am also starting to get incredibly sick of it. I'm just at a point where I would like to sit in a restaurant and not be stared at while I write in my journal. Or where I want to stop into a local place for a a glass of wine, but also don't want to sit on my phone while I drink it. I guess what I really mean to say is that I just really want to travel with you.
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Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with my feelings toward you that I just can't breathe.
30/12/17
I am exhausted and tired, and frustrated with humanity. Right now I don't care about anything but your arms.
31/12/17
Last year at this time I was sure that by now I'd be with you. No more playing around. Let's make this shit happen.
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So there is this word in Portuguese that I keep hearing: Saudade. It is the bittersweetness of missing someone or something. Moreover of it being missing from you and you being missing from it.
It keeps appearing on this trip. It's in the street art, its the feeling you get when you listen to Fado music, and it was used again in the description of the way women used to feel when they said goodbye to their men as they went to sea. I think it is a very fitting word to describe the entirety of this trip. I'm used to traveling solo, and being alone, but for the majority of this trip I have felt like I am missing from you and you are missing from me. It's bittersweet, because while I'm sad you are not here, I am grateful that I get to miss you with the hope of seeing you soon. For now we are missing from each other, but this Saudade will not last forever.
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