Madness of Marmots Part 2: The Wakhan Valley

Day 6: Dushanbe- Hulbuk Palace- Darvoz
"Be happy for this moment, for this moment is your life." - Omar Khayyam

We spend most of our day in the car admiring our first views of the Afghanistan boarder, and wishing we could hop over just for a little while. The views were constantly changing and we had to keep awake in order to constantly be taking pictures. Since we were so ridiculously hot we could not imagine how it could possibly be cold in the mountains when we arrived there. Hinta and I kept turning around to air out our soaked through bums. We even had to turn on the AC for a bit.

Around lunchtime we stopped at a palace that was part of the original silk road and our tour guide gave us a very hysterical tour. He started by showing us artifacts and making us stand with strange poses. It was a good laugh and a good break from the car. Afterwards we had a quick cheap lunch and some watermelon, but it was too hot to be truly enjoyable.

I listened to some music for the rest of the journey and it reminded me about how in love I am with my life and the world around me at the current moment. All in all it was a good day even though we were in the car.

When we arrived in Darvoz we were thoroughly greeted by the people in charge of our guesthouse. Standing on the balcony overlooking the river I was able to look down and see to Afghanistan. We went for a walk in the village and took our cameras to take photos. We were greeted by kids running along shouting "Hello!" and we watched them play in muddy water. For one brief second I thought about how I would really like my own children to grow up with this simplicity, and I stopped to admire the local school.  I guess I will just have to try my best to expose them to this life as best as I can.

After a very filling dinner of soup, the best plov I've had, fruit, vodka, and tea we were ready for an early bed and most of us decided to skip the shower.

Day 7: Darvoz- Jizeu Valley 
/I officially don't know how I am going to do with settled life. I have a lot of other dreams I still need to live out./

After coffee and breakfast we left decently early knowing we had a long drive followed by a hike to our homestay. However Laura had forgotten her phone, and lucky for us, because when we returned the man informed us that the boarder market was open. This meant that we would be going to "no man's land" to shop between Tajikistan and Afghanistan. The Afghani people walk across a bridge and are allowed to enter to sell goods to the Tajik people and tourists. We were nervous about taking pictures, but we did manage to buy a scarf each, and Laura got a pair of earrings. The women were very adamant about her wearing them right away.

After some time admiring the Afghan road on the other side and pointing out people on motor bikes or others walking and wondering where they were going, we arrived at a lunch spot and ate....you guessed it, more plov!

When we finally arrive in Jizeu valley we were a bit worried about hiking to the village before dark and before the rain hit, but we set off anyway. A few kilometers in we met a couple and they said "It just keeps getting more beautiful," which we decided should become the slogan of Tajikistan. Elka was having some tummy issues and fell behind for awhile, but a nice man offered us some ginger cookies and sweets.

We were relieved when we finally made it to the village, but it turns out that we were stating in the second village which was another 2 kilometers away. As we started on our way again it started to rain, so we stopped to put on our rain gear. It was still beautiful, and Hinta and I decided to sing to make the time pass more quickly.

When we finally did arrive it was a bit difficult because they did not know we were coming, but we had a simple meal of rice milk, porridge, and bread with amazing homemade winter berry jam. We quickly fell in love with our favorite chocolate treat: Step bars (which are similar to a snickers). After being stuffed full and finishing several pots of tea we headed to sleep on some mats on the floor.  Elka joked that we had forgotten to ask for the wifi.

/ Trajectories of life in no particular order
#1: The Traveler- We are madly in love. We live a simple life out of our backpacks. We travel around in between odd jobs working on farms and teaching english. We roam together forever.
#2: The Teacher- We both teach and move together every 3-4 years exploring different countries and regions of the world. We have some lovely children that we raise to be global explorers.
#3: The American- I legit move my ass home. I meet a guitar player, we live a simple life out west and spend as much time as we can camping and hiking.
#4: The Ritchie- I meet a rich man, we travel the world extensively on his dime and eventually I settle as a stay at home mom.

And then there is this, and I am so happy that life never works out any of the thousands of ways I plan it to./

Day 8: Jizeu Valley- Khorog
We had an excellent night of sleep and woke up to a beautiful sunny morning. We wandered around the village and saw the animals that they kept. After our breakfast of rice milk and porridge we began our hike to the lake. Luckily, because we had hiked further the previous day this was a shorter hike, however our path was very wet due to the rain from the previous night. Arriving at the lake, we decided this would be a good opportunity to skinny dip, however, it was too cold to really dive in and so we ended up having some snacks instead.

When we arrived back in the village we were greeted with a delicious lunch of potatoes, and what they referred to as salad. It was really just blended up whatever vegetables they could find with some garlic, but it was delicious on top of the buttery potatoes.

Same Same, but Different

The man from the guest house hiked us back out, and it seemed like a long journey, but we were greeted by our driver and a fairly short car ride to Khorog. We took a brief walk through the city, but their wasn't much to see. For dinner we had more potatoes with carrots and chicken, and I indulged in a beer. 

Day 8- Khorog
We woke up early for a busy day of postal service, grocery shopping, seeing Lenny, visits to a hot spring, and driving to Langar, however we were quickly backtracked and stuck.

postcards

We started with the postcards. The ladies at the post office kindly asked us where each one was heading and wrote the translation of the countries into Russian and sorted them into piles of continents. Then they were trying to explain something about the cost, so thinking I owed more money I ran back to the car to get my wallet. When I tried to hand over more som, they explained to me that actually I had "Menshe". I'd paid too much. "No problem," we explained, hoping this would ensure our postcards would arrive safely anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months later.

Essentials: Chocolate and Vodka!

Then we grabbed more chocolate and vodka from the shop and stopped in to get some amazing photos of my good friend Lenny.

Lenny!

After our morning of errands we reached a check point and the police made us go to the police station in Khorog to double check all our paperwork. We didn't really think we had a problem and they released us quickly, however they would not let our driver go. Sitting in the car, we munched on chips and chocolate and eventually got out our pocket knives to make cheese and salami sandwiches. One officer was even nice enough to go and get us some freshly baked bread. They came over and tried to explain to us what was happening. "Bad Driver," they kept saying.

"Whats the problem?" I would ask in return. and they kept responding with, "No problem. Everything is fine, but there is a problem with the driver." Okay...."But what is the problem with the driver?" We couldn't get any answers. They tried to get us to pack our items into another car and go with a different driver who spoke Russian, but we were adamant: We would not leave without Omarbek. Eventually the tourist police showed up and this made us feel slightly better. After some discussion, we agreed to go back to the guesthouse and hope that Omar could sort it out that evening.

Trying to make the most of the day we set off for the market and did some stress shopping. Tea cups, bracelets, clothes, and a Tajik hat. Then we walked to a park to cool off with some beer, cool beverages and tea.

He returned later and told us it was not fixed, but that the owner of our guesthouse would be coming to take us to Langar the next morning and he would follow behind us later in the evening. This plan didn't make us the happiest, but we felt like maybe if Omar wasn't stressing about us it would be better. So we agreed, and went to sleep.

Day 9- Khorog- Langar
In the morning we met the owner of our guesthouse and his super duper red-headed son.  They didn't speak hardly any English, so we knew we were in for a treat. It was a bit squished and uncomfortable,  and the man kept stopping to check and change the tires, but we made it in one piece and were grateful to be out of the disgusting city and back into village life.

We made a brief stop at Bibi Fatima, the nicest hot spring in the area. Women make pilgrimages here in order to ensure fertility in the future. I have to admit that I wasn't very impressed and after 30 minutes of soaking we were reading for a large lunch and a continued journey.

See that mountain in the distance? Yep...that's Pakistan!

We continued our drive to the Wakhan corridor, where we were able to see from Tajikistan, through Afghanistan, and clear through to Pakistan. It quickly became a dream of mine to travel to both of these countries. Upon arriving in Langar we decided to go for a walk around the village and were pleased with the amazing views of the mountains. Then we had some afternoon tea and relaxation, hoping our driver was a few hours behind us.

Langar

After stuffing our faces at dinner, we were told our driver would not be coming this night, but that he would meet us part way through our journey at the meeting of the Pamir Highway and the Afghan border road the following day. We continued to be skeptical of the police, and still felt unsure about the constant change of plans. But, nonetheless we carried on!

Madness of Marmots part 1- Tajikistan, Fann Mountains

I have been putting off sitting down to write this blog for some time now because I'm not sure how I can possibly wrap up the emotions I felt and dealt with on this trip, nor the beauty of the landscapes and people of this truly enchanting country. But it's now been an entire month and I know that in order to maintain the memories I need to write something. ANYTHING! So I'm going to try to combine the notes about what we did each day from my journal with my random emotional bittersweetness of the journey, and add in a few major pictures to hopefully get any of you attached enough to consider visiting what easily jumped to the top of my list of favorite countries.

Kaulikalon Lake

Day 1: Dushanbe 

/I do not know what I have gotten myself into, but maybe some time without anything to worry about but travel with be good for me. I already miss my friends and my city./

After checking in I wandered around town and stopped for some Indian cuisine. As my tummy was already not feeling top notch, I'm not sure this was the greatest choice, but it sure was delicious. Funnily enough, on my way out of the restaurant I ran into 2 of the 3 other girls I would be spending the next 2 weeks traveling with. Then I wandered to the city garden to look at some monuments and a really strange man kept following me and trying to talk to me. After saying "I don't understand you, I only speak English" several times in both English and Russian I finally resorted to some very loud, "Please leave me alone," and "Go away!" in a very public area. When he finally started going away he still hid behind a tree for about 10 minutes while I took pictures. I felt weirded out, because this type of thing doesn't usually happen to me, and normally I enjoy being friendly with locals, but the way he was looking at me felt off, and I felt naked to the world even though I was fairly well covered in long pants and a t-shirt. 

Eventually I walked back to the hostel and stopped to get a Powerade as my tummy still wasn't feeling great. I went to bed at about 8pm in preparation for the start of our epic travels. 

Day 2: Dushanbe- Iskanderkul Lake- Sarytag Village 

/My stomach is in utter pain, but I am still having the time of my life. This is a good cleanse from what has become an unhealthy life of eating out, drinking beer, staying up too late, and spending all my time on Netflix and Facebook. I want to travel more this way./

We woke up to eat some breakfast and then met the last member of our group as we packed up the car. We spoke briefly with our driver who quickly took our US dollars to gas up the car and dropped us to the grocery store to stock up on hiking snacks, water, and any only essentials for the next few days.  

A little way down the road we got into our snacks and started our daily routine of sharing some morning chocolate. After some hours in the car admiring the views and taking photos we stopped to look at the lake, but were slightly underwhelmed because it was a cloudy day at the lake looked average with a slightly gross grey tinge. We tried to find a hiking trail, but Laura and I were both dealing with tummy issues at this time, and we just wanted to sit and attempt to drink water and eat some snacks. 

Our drive continued to Sarytag Village where we were quickly given a private room and some tea. After our quick tea break we had a wander around the nature, and were met with more beautiful views and our first marmot sighting. Turning around we walked through the village and were greeted with many "Hello!"s and children waving. We were allowed to take pictures of the women working in the garden and a few children stopped and posed for us with animals or on their bicycles. Some even offered us a ride!

We ended our evening with a dinner of plov, a small shot of vodka each (for medicinal purposes), and more tea. It was an early bedtime with high hopes of more beautiful sights and improved tummies. 

Day 3: Sraytag Village- Artush, Hike to Koulikalon Lake 

After a really good night of sleep we woke up feeling slightly better tummy-wise and were up for a bigger, better hike. Throughout the drive I became more aquatinted with the "Vodka Drinking Girls" crew and the views continued to be more spectacular. However I still missed my friends and wished they were with me.

Iskanderkul Lake

We drove back across the lake and were met with a far more beautiful view because the sun was out. We continued to several little villages where we were met with children running out to the side of the road to wave and scream "hello!" at us. The Almaty Girls game of calling out animals we saw for points was reinstated, but very quickly the point system seemed wrong because there were far too many donkeys and far fewer horses.

After Arriving in Artush we began our ascent to Kaulikalon Lake, however the usual road was a bit washed out, so our initial trail was unclear. Eventually we caught up with the real gravel and rocky trail, which was the first true test of our ability to gain vertical meters. When we reached the first major viewpoint we stopped to filter some water, take some photos, and have a quick snack. Then we continued on an easier, but still difficult path, before reaching the lake, where we dipped our toes (or whole bodies for some of us) in, and then began our descent. Soon after beginning the more difficult portion of the trail I slipped and injured my already injured knee a bit more. After a short break I was able to continue through the minor pain. We were constantly coaxed in for tea, and one lovely woman gladly  traded scarves with Laura. Arriving back to our starting point we were quickly offered a dinner of the local dish (meat, potatoes, and carrots), sank our shots of vodka, and passed out. By this point my tummy was feeling much more normal.

Day 4: Artush Village- Seven Lakes- Penjikent
/I heard a song that I know belongs to us, but I grew quickly angry because this trip is supposed to belong to me./

We woke up to a cool morning, and headed outside to do yoga while admiring the mountains. Our trip took us backward, through similar but different looking views, and we finally saw some bikers along the road. We drove through the Seven Lakes, admiring the views of each one's different aquamarine color, while trying to take pictures from whichever side of the car had the best view at that particular moment.

The first of the Seven Lakes

After some splendid driving by Omerbek(our driver) we reached the top where we had a watermelon and chip picnic while wandering around and having a look at village life. We found that the people in this area were less inviting and the women remained fully covered and did not want their pictures taken. Many cute children and donkeys were seen, but there was one little girls I was particularly interested in. I gave her a slice of watermelon and followed her back to her mom who was working in a field.

On the way back down we took few pictures and had some low key time to ourselves. The hashtag #relievednottobebiking was born as we watched a couple of bikers struggle even at the start of the hill.

Penjikent was a hot "surprise" in comparison to the coolness of the mountain. We grabbed some fruit and veggies from the market and left with more scarves than we came with. On the way back I grabbed an ice cream knowing it might be my last chance to enjoy one for awhile. After completing some sink laundry we sat on the balcony and sipped vodka while watching the sunset.

Day 5: Penjikent- Dushanbe (Sioma Valley Hike?) 

We started out the morning with some eggs and then began the long journey back to Dushanbe. We stopped in Sioma Valley for a hike along a rushing river. It was gorgeous, but my legs were just not up to the gravel covered downhill after the previous day's slip, so after about 45 minutes most of us turned around to find a nice tree to relax under, while Elka continued the journey.

Pretty soon after we stopped a shepard came and offered us tea. We debated whether this was a safe move, but after being offered so many times we decided that this was a cultural experience 3 girls together could enjoy. Before long he was leading us to a tent in the middle of the mountains, surrounded by goats and a few dogs. The man kept trying to speak Russian to me, and then when I would pretend to understand and say something back he would laugh and make a comment about how terrible I was at the language. This joke went on, over and over again. While enjoying our tea I admired the simplicity of the life these 2 men lived.

Tea Break

We continued our hike out, and had some snacks while waiting for Elka. I was also able to sit on a donkey!

Once back in Dushanbe we stopped for more groceries and went to the Hyatt to get some beautiful postcards and stamps. I bought the group matching friendship bracelets. Arriving at the hotel we all soaked in the Wifi, showers, and opportunity to do more laundry before our trip along the Pamir Highway began.

Vodka Drinking Girls!

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8/4/19
"Such a struggle, hardship and risk and for what? Fifteen minutes on top with a pleasant summit picture and view if the weather is kind. That's the physical reality, for some, but I say it flippantly because it is not how I see it. Mountains do more than that. They liberate the soul and they free the mind from the chaos of life. They allow the imagination to escape and enable the body the chance to express itself in the natural world. Mountains are so simple and yet running through them is a complex and beautiful tapestry, woven together to allow humans to test the core of their spirit to its limits."

24.4.19
I'm getting tired of always asking myself why. There has been no indication of the answer. In fact all statements make me think truth exists on the opposition.

27.4.19
I went back and read my old blog, my first ever blog, about running. I was such a clever and smart girl back then. I wonder where that self-confidence went.

1.5.19
I feel like every time I start to find my vibe somewhere, and really start to find my people and places, I'm getting ready to leave.

4.5.19
As I enter my apartment I wish I am someone else. Someone free of the limitations I am currently putting on myself for no apparent reason.

7.5.19
They say you can always go home again. But as an expat I have learned that that statement is false. Home consists largely of the people you surround yourself with, and there is no guarantee that if you "go home" 2 or 5 years later they will still be there. And even if they are they will not be the same person as when you left. And neither will you. The goal is to find someone you can trust enough to adapt simultaneously with you and build your ever changing home, together.

8.5.19
If the world could just get its timing right for once that'd be really great....

9.5.19
The best dreams are yet to come.

17.5.19
I thought I knew who I was, and that meant I was finally ready to settle, but as it turns out I am still figuring myself out, and the real challenge is finding someone who will accept all those changes as they come. Are you ready?

18.5.19
I thought I was feeling sad about leaving weeks ago, but it turns out I'm actually devastated I'm leaving, and it hit me today, and now I'm sobbing in my apartment. Is this the beginning of the lasts?

25.5.19
Halfway to forever.

2.6.19
What is meant to be will always find a way to be. Kazakhstan was meant to by my home away from home and this friendship was meant to be just like this. At least for now.

11.6.19
Once you put words out in the world they are there to stay. I said them , and I meant them with all my heart, but the next words need to be goodbye.

18.6.19
Stressed. Not sure when the emotions will come, but I hope it's when I'm alone at home and not when I'm out in a large group of people.

19.6.19
I think it is very scary that not one single person knows all the sides of what is happening in my life at the moment. Tid-bits.

20.6.19
Once there was a girl who thought she was living her life filled to the brim. Then she moved and met amazing friends who showed her just how good life could be. And she grew and changed and became spectacular because of them.

So Long Kazakhstan

Song: The Edge by Amber Rubarth and David Peters

I'm about to become a sad sop of a mess. 3 minutes ago everything was totally fine, and now I cannot find any song to stop the tears. My body is in shambles: sore from my run yesterday, constant stomach pain, inability to sleep for several days now. I'm trying to remember the devastation of leaving Montenegro and my great dislike of Kazakhstan when I first moved here. But my feelings for this city are overwhelming.

What can I say to a place that has given me so much joy, and so many life lessons, and helped me grow in a multitude of ways. Thanks for the views, experiences, and smiles.

So long Kazakhstan!

Because I grew so much in Almaty, I thought I'd take some time to reflect on my goals for Abu Dhabi. I think my main goal is to continue to be who I was born to be. Nature enthusiast, and an active and healthy member of this world. I will continue saving money and continue to travel the world. I will love more aspects of my life, and be less anxious about my future. What is meant to be will find a way to be.

I want to put my all into my relationship and really find happiness in sharing a life with someone else. I will learn how to communicate freely rather than letting my emotions and annoyances bubble up inside of me.

For work I'd love to build stronger relationships with my students and try to promote more independence in them. I'm going to become a coach, and try to create action around the school. I want to learn to collaborate more openly, and take criticism as a way to build a better classroom.

Some smaller goals for the upcoming few years:
1. Run a Marathon
2. Climb Mount Kilimanjaro
3. Visit Africa! Step out of my comfort zone about where I go.
4. Be more environmentally friendly
5. Keep my life more organized and clean
6. Run an Ultra trail run(for a year or 2 from now)
7. Drink WAAAAAY less
8. Focus my "me" time, and "We" time-  less time on social media when out

Okay...so I have a lot of goals, but what other way is there to live life, than by constantly striving to be the best version of yourself.

United Arab Emirates

I don't know what to do with this blog post. So I'm just going to put it here. I will say that I tend to write about the bad rather than the good, and that at the end of this trip I took a good, long, hard, look at my life and what I want next. 

16/3/19I am so overly tired that I'm just going to let them roll. I'm trying so fricken hard to not compare this to Indonesia, but I'm struggling already and I have to do this for at least 2 years.

17/3/19I wish I were feeling surprise and happiness at the fact that I get to live here, but I feel a fear churning inside me, because what made me happy today was consumerism and that happiness is temporary. It does not last.

18/3/19I am so scared I'm going to fail at being happy here. It may not seem like I am putting any effort into this, but I am doing everything in my capacity, including inhaling ice cream by the pound and working out like a maniac, and having my music constantly turned up. If you want to find out if I'm really content, just try to take away my music.
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There is a big danger in living your life 2 years by 2 years.
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When I look at where I want to go it looks like I am taking 1 huge step forward. Toward security, a relationship, a better career and a real country. But I feel deeply down like I am taking 1000 little steps backwards, to where I hate myself and who I am.

3/4/19

It’s not that I don’t want to move here to be with you. It’s that I know who I am, and I know that find happiness for her there will be near impossible. I know that I am a mountain lover. Falling in love with mountains was the easiest thing I have ever done. I know that I do not like the beach, because finally coming to the conclusion of this was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I know that I love beer, but that I do NOT love disgusting beer. It’s hard enough to find the disgusting crap there, I don’t think spending 10 dollars on one will be worth it. I know that I love simple pleasures in life, such as catching the sunset while walking, treating myself to a coffee at a place I happen upon when out running errands. And I know none of these experiences can take place in a mall. I know that when push comes to shove I will stay in and be depressed an lonely over spending $10 on a cab to go out with friends. Call me stingy, but I know that value of $10 on any given trip I have taken, and I know that is half a daily budget toward a memorable day out in a lot of places. The thing that kills me the most is that I know that of all the times I have considered sacrificing my dreams and happiness for another human I have ended up choosing selfishness. And that selfishness has caused me to grow and become exactly who I want to be. 

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12.1.19
I have never felt as strongly about a place as I did about Montenegro. When I look at pictures sometimes my heart breaks a little thinking that I left after such a short time. I think I'm going to feel similarly about Kazakhstan. So in the meantime I'm going to try to soak up all the awesomeness that surrounds me.

23.1.19
If I were sitting on the other side of this decision I would be sitting imagining my life just as it is now. Paradox of choice. We cannot ever have it both ways.

26.1.19
One really nice thing about sober January is that I've just been staying in and waking up and hiking, and still getting home with enough time to relax. The issue is, I'm in need of a night out, and the hiking right now kind of sucks.
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I hope that I never forget this feeling of laying in my bed missing you on a Saturday morning. I reach over and wish you were there and embrace the loneliness that I hope will be ending soon. I want to remember the juxtaposition of satisfaction with my life, and desire for something more.

7.2.19
Juxtaposed between that feeling of wanting to fast forward through the next 6 months of my life, and wanting to savor every single moment of my time here with these people.

8.2.19
I had a really funny moment with my students today when one said that his maid was pregnant. Another then asked her age and he said, "In her 20's." The other one then responded with a, "What! She is practically a teen mom!" I then asked them what age they thought was a good age to have a baby and most of them said 35 or 40. My the times are changing.....

17.2.19
Some nights I spend in, contemplating my life. Some nights I go out and I still end up back here, wondering what the fuck I'm doing.

3.3.19
Can I make the music louder to drown out the emotions?

10.3.19
Sometimes I wonder about all the other alternate lives I'm living in this great vast universe. This must be the best one:)

12.3.19
With every contemplation and realization about what I've agreed to, I start to mourn for the loss of a life I truly love. With each item I painfully fold into my suitcase my brain roams in confusion as I search for the reason why I would choose this. "Struggling with life choices" doesn't even begin to cover it.

13.3.19
And then a song comes on and reminds me that it doesn't matter what barriers stand in the way. I will not do anything to ruin the fact that I get to be with you. Finally.

Songs from 28

Major accomplishments from my 28th year on this planet include finding out I was really in love enough to start planing my future with someone, paying off my student loans, traveling to 8 new countries, revisiting 4 previously explored countries, and falling in love with more than just these 13 songs. These are the winners in another incredible year of cooking in my kitchen, evening writing with a glass of wine, tears of joy and sadness, and sometimes even dancing around my living room. I'm looking forward to the songs of year 29.

February
Dear Chicago, Ryan Adams

I discovered Ryan's Live After Deaf albums and pretty much immersed myself in them and a glass of wine on cold February nights. This song is kind of a love song to Tivat I guess. I was struggling a lot at work and not really feeling in love with my life.

March
Graveclothes- Birdtalker

March was a lot of unknowns and a lot of looking forward to my holiday. Many a sleepless night. This was my happy song. "Don't get lost inside your head."

April
Portland Oregon- Loretta Lynn and Jack White

Lewis said this song reminded him of me. It is a perfect summation of what our time in Tivat was. Drunken gin nights and then running out of time. 

May
26, Caamp

I know I'm 28, but just listening to this song all over Kazakhstan made me so happy about my life.

June
Heirloom- Sufjan Stevens

I wish I could remember just what I was thinking when I fell in love with this song, but I don't. I just know that I was feeling very much in love with life at the moment.

July- I don't have any songs that I fell in love with in July so....

August
August deserves two songs.

House of My Soul- Langhorne Slim

I heard this song for the first time on the way north to go camping and I instantly feel in love with the lyrics.

"You got the hands that I wanna hold

You light the rooms to the house of my soul. Goddamn!"

A Little Honey, Nathaniel Rateliff

I was feeling pretty insecure about life at the end of August. This song's lyrics hit deep as I realized that my confusion was mostly due to lack of communication about what I needed. I can't choose lyrics, because it is seriously all of them. I also don't mind watching Nathaniel shake those hips :)

September
Calvary- Mandolin Orange
My life in September was all about running. I'm pretty sure training for a half marathon saved my sanity. I know there is more to this song than that line, but I just found so much beauty in the melody.
"These days I'm saving my strength for running"

October
Life is confusing- Langhorne Slim
I listened to this song on repeat so much it forced Langhorne Slim into my number 1 listened to artist of 2018 category. Life was confusing.
"Can we be happy for a while? 
Can we just sit here, shut up and smile? 
Been talking for hours.
Forgot what we're saying
Life is confusing and people are insane"

November
My Oh My- The Punch Brothers
I had a lot of trouble choosing for November. I actually fell in love with 4 songs. It was a tough month as I started job applications and interviews, and just started wanting to be anywhere but here. Everyday really is wonderful, so why would I try to look to the next one instead of enjoying the present.

"I see the green grass below
I feel the warmth of the screen
Is it beautiful (maybe not, maybe not)
But maybe so
But if it keeps us singing
My oh my, what a wonderful day
We're having, we're having
Why, oh why, are we looking for a way
Outside it, outside it"

December
Atlantic City- The Kooks
I specifically fell in love with this version of the song. I've heard it before, but never enjoyed it as much as I did dancing around in the kitchen to this version.
"Everything dies, baby, that's a fact
But maybe everything that dies some day comes back"

January
Images- Sleepwalkers
The responsibility of becoming an adult started to hit me hard. I paid off my loans, and started looking toward moving to the same country as my man.
"I couldn't believe it
I couldn't see it coming no
Wish I was younger
Don't want to get any older no
So I'm asking you to stay with me now
Stay with me now
Don't go"

February
Wolves- Mandolin Orange
They came out with a new album. Did you really think it'd be anyone else? Sober January done.
"Everything's so great can't get better, makes me wanna cry
That I'll go out howling at the moon tonight"