I have never felt as strongly about a place as I did about Montenegro. When I look at pictures sometimes my heart breaks a little thinking that I left after such a short time. I think I'm going to feel similarly about Kazakhstan. So in the meantime I'm going to try to soak up all the awesomeness that surrounds me.
23.1.19
If I were sitting on the other side of this decision I would be sitting imagining my life just as it is now. Paradox of choice. We cannot ever have it both ways.
26.1.19
One really nice thing about sober January is that I've just been staying in and waking up and hiking, and still getting home with enough time to relax. The issue is, I'm in need of a night out, and the hiking right now kind of sucks.
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I hope that I never forget this feeling of laying in my bed missing you on a Saturday morning. I reach over and wish you were there and embrace the loneliness that I hope will be ending soon. I want to remember the juxtaposition of satisfaction with my life, and desire for something more.
7.2.19
Juxtaposed between that feeling of wanting to fast forward through the next 6 months of my life, and wanting to savor every single moment of my time here with these people.
8.2.19
I had a really funny moment with my students today when one said that his maid was pregnant. Another then asked her age and he said, "In her 20's." The other one then responded with a, "What! She is practically a teen mom!" I then asked them what age they thought was a good age to have a baby and most of them said 35 or 40. My the times are changing.....
17.2.19
Some nights I spend in, contemplating my life. Some nights I go out and I still end up back here, wondering what the fuck I'm doing.
3.3.19
Can I make the music louder to drown out the emotions?
10.3.19
Sometimes I wonder about all the other alternate lives I'm living in this great vast universe. This must be the best one:)
12.3.19
With every contemplation and realization about what I've agreed to, I start to mourn for the loss of a life I truly love. With each item I painfully fold into my suitcase my brain roams in confusion as I search for the reason why I would choose this. "Struggling with life choices" doesn't even begin to cover it.
13.3.19
And then a song comes on and reminds me that it doesn't matter what barriers stand in the way. I will not do anything to ruin the fact that I get to be with you. Finally.
